The day my wife and I got married we were given some advice. A friend nef mine put my hand on top of my wife’s hand. He said, “take a good look.” That was the last time I was going to have the upper hand. After 10 years of marriage I learned that was complete garbage. What I’ve experienced is the wife isn’t always right and she doesn’t always have the upper hand.
Many have told me that the key to a marriage is that in a disagreement just say “yes dear.” I truly believe that why so many marriages have failed is because the line “yes dear” was used one time too many. It may be strange to believe, but indeed women are not always right. Shocking, I know! I don’t think anyone truly believes this. However, this myth gets passed on from generation to generation.
Now I’m not in no way trying to say that man is always right. That’s far from the truth. I’m sure I lost many readers at the first hint that a woman isn’t anything but correct all the time. However, what I’ve realized in my own relationship is that we have to communicate. In the few times my wife and I have argued it is because communication was broken down. There was something intervening and creating a barrier between what she was saying and what I was saying. That doesn’t make her right, or me right. Realizing you are wrong is also important. I know I’ve been wrong. In reality I’m sure Jolene has realized she has been wrong many times too.
A willingness to dismiss communication by saying “yes dear” only allows you to dismiss a topic. After a while things will fester in your subconscious, and later maybe one will blow up. With Jolene, the times i have said yes dear has only made it worse. Now, I don’t claim to have the best relationship in the world. However, I know with certainty that communication is key to a healthy relationship. That communication is only guaranteed when both partners come to the table equally. There can’t be any handicaps given because you are one gender or another.
I’m not telling you to go to always go to bed angry. During my wedding reception I was told by my grandparents to never go to bed angry at each other. I’ve tried that, and for the most part that has worked. There has been a couple times that going to bed angry was necessary. It allowed our minds to reset. It allowed us to get some sleep. It allowed us to calm down. It allowed us to pray about it. It allowed us to communicate with level minds. I’ve realized we can’t always accept everyones advice in its entirety. Most advice is truly given to help, but sometimes that advice doesn’t work for everyone.
It’s the same with children. As a parent you will have lots of people telling you how to raise a child. Some people will tell you the complete opposite of what someone else said. In the end of the day, you will decide what’s best for your specific situation. What really matters is you raise a child to maturity, with cognitive skills to adapt and excel into society. Most of all, keep the child alive. Seriously, those little boogers like to find ways to kill themselves walking in streets and sh#&.
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