This past year has been busier than I could have imagined. Often I don’t have a lot of down time, but when I do I choose to either nap or do something that takes my mind off of things. When I created this website I had high hopes for it. After time I began to forget it all together. Recently I have been dealing with family drama. People who know me, know I don’t like to play games with the existential term we call life and I deplore drama. Last night I had some free time. I was left to ponder thoughts, which at times can get me in trouble. Especially when my thoughts are about family drama. This is a bit off topic, but my thoughts were: what constitutes a cult?
Beware of pressure. They will pressure you.
Beware of those who have special insight. They claim to have something you need and no one else has it.
They maintain a tremendous amount of secrecy.
The group uses deceptive measures to recruit new members.
They exploit their members financially.
They will isolate prospective and new members, especially if they seek to leave.
They alienate those who don’t accept or support their path.
The reason I was pondering the question of what constitutes a cult, is because my previous list also describes an MLM (multi-level marketing business) and/or a Pyramid Scheme. My family has been hit multiple times with people seeking to suck us in to giving them money for their entrepreneur adventures. The correlations between MLM businesses and cults are astounding.
When I was a child my grandparents were pressured to join Rexall. During a time where money was tight, and bankruptcy was always an option, they opted to purchase a small amount of Rexall products. The company now runs around under the alias of Unicity Network. The products were overpriced supplements, and in reality junk. Their marketing is similar to that of Herbalife which most should know is making it’s rounds in India taking advantage of a third world country.
While attending church, many families tried to lure us into Amway. Some of the families I considered to be my close friends. If you didn’t buy into Amway, they wouldn’t be your friends. God forbid, this occurred in church. Later in college I was pushed to buy into Primerica with the hopes that for just a little money you will make tons of money years down the road. While also in college I was pressured by many students and faculty to buy into Excel Communications. The company went defunct a year later. While leaving college I was bombarded with letters that offered a job with Vector Marketing. You guessed it, another MLM.
After college I have been pressured to buy into Avon, Mary Kay, LuLaRoe for my wife, amongst other MLM’s like WFG. All the companies have a product that somehow you need. You ask what the product is, but the only way to find out is to attend a seminar or product reveal. If you attend these life changing events, the entire time they would rather sell you a “job” rather than a product.
MLM’s prey on those who are struck on hard luck. They prey on college students, they prey on the elderly, they prey on immigrants seeking a quick buck, they prey on women seeking to be a self sufficient entrepreneur, and they prey on friends and family hoping you will be obligated to be their support. Most who claim to be a successful MLM entrepreneurs are flat out broke. Pyramid built companies will paint a picture of grandeur and gloss over statistics that only 1% will profit. The other 99% loose money. To top it off they can bring their entire family down with them. When they can no longer seep monetary value from you, then you become irrelevant. Only to be cast aside without appreciation or any blink of an eye, because somehow you only represent negative feelings.
MLM’s will pressure you to buy their “products.” However, they are more concerned with you joining their “great business” than actually selling a product. Once you join their company they often require you to give them a list of associations as possible future clients. Many of those associations will be family, friends, social media contacts, co-workers, and even church member lists. As a new “employee” you then are suppose to contact those associations to offer your superior product.
When contacting potential clients they will pressure you even with risk of terminating your close relationship. They will play mind games on you with the hope that your friendship is valuable enough to participate in their business.
MLM “employees” make money by gaining more employees under them. They gain a piece of the pie for every person they obtain under them. The more and more you have under you, the more you make. The actual product you sell is not of concern because that is not where the majority of money is made. All be it, MLM’s are not purely a pyramid scheme, because they do actually have a product to sell. Still their deceptive tactics are not any different.
Their tactics are the epitome of how cults gain their followers. MLM founders enjoy cult-like leader status. Their employees are exploited, knowing good well that only the top 5 tears in the business make efficient money. The bottom level employees actually loose money. Bottom tier employees are held accountable and told they aren’t holding their own weight while higher levels sit and do little. You are a failure if you don’t seek a higher elevated status. Of course, if you don’t pressure your associations, you will not succeed.
We all know about those meetings where they will “tell you all about it.” Knowing good well they could tell you then and there if it were a legit business model. MLM’s will tell you that rival companies are far inferior and won’t offer the same results. You are expected to put money in with the hopes of obtaining a utopian dream. MLM use cult tactics to help their creators profit, while their followers get ripped off. If you try and leave, you’ll be cast as a failure and they will malign anything you say. Ultimate pressure is placed on you to make a decision now, and not to wait till later as later is too late. They use bate and switch deceptive practices to keep you sucked in.
The heart of a MLM pitch is a vast lifestyle improvement. If you become an employee, you’ll drive luxury cars, have a boat, fly first class and more. You won’t have to work a 9 to 5 job. You can take control of your life. You’ll be an entrepreneur who can spend more time with your children. The reality is, the only way to move up is to put far more hours than you would in a 9 to 5 job, and you will have less time with your children. The reality is for most, even putting all those hours in they won’t be successful. All the while alienating nearly everyone they know.
I have multiple family members and friends currently involved in MLM’s. To point out the elephant in the room, my sister and dad are involved in WFG. After being involved with WFG for many years amongst other MLM’s, my grandparents have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to support her. They emptied out their retirement. In the process they put money down on two different homes for her amongst bailing her out over and over again. They now currently live together in the same home along with my dad.
My dad use to work for Home Depot, but after 19 1/2 years he was fired for being late to work too often and trying to recruit people to join WFG. Nearly 20 years waisted because of the nearly impossible dream WFG says is possible.
My grandparents medical bills have racked up over the years. They now can no longer pay my sister the money she requires for the mortgage since their retirement is gone. She recently told them they have to move out and on a tangent that she has always hated my grandmother. They have to move out of a home they helped purchase and pay for. Until they do, my grandmother was confined to her room. Albeit that has tamed down a little. This is just the tip of the iceberg.
Family members and church members have told me about the pressure my sister has put on them to be involved with her business. More importantly two years ago my sister told my wife that we can no longer be a family because I am a “negativity.” Why? I don’t want to join her business. She convinced my grandparents that I wasn’t supportive of women. They wouldn’t talk to me for some time. She lied to the family in countless ways.
After some time my granparents realized they were in a pickle. A fermented pickle they couldn’t get out of. They finally started talking to me again. I’ve had to monetarily bail them and my dad out multiple times. However, I finally realized that it was an endless game. My sister is now having my grandparents and dad file for bankruptcy. Any money my dad does make from side jobs appears to evaporate in gambling. All this while working for a company that somehow is suppose to be making families financially stable. Somehow, I’m the bad guy in this whole story for pointing out the irony.
I can no longer sit idly by as people are used as pons to an end game. My first amendment right allows me to speak. My comments on Facebook have been deleted in an attempt to disguise what is really going on. I’ve been called a lier for stating the truth. I’ve been chewed out, left horrible messages on Facebook and on the phone placing blame on me. Somehow in the eyes of the abusers, as a child I was treated better, and because of that the entire family has to jump off a cliff with my sister as a means of reparations. Well guess what, they can’t delete my website. At least not today. My ability to stay at home to raise my children is in no way an act of failure. In reality it shows how two working together in unison can lead to success. Defecating hate on me only exemplifies their narcissistic egos. The path they choose only makes them a pariah of the family. So guess what, this post is “not cool” as my dad told me when I spoke up before. You may be right, but it is necessary.
I’m not fully a fan of John Oliver, but this video I think is very important and on point.
Finally, I post this photo of my daughter and son. They adore each other. I pray they adore each other till the day they die, and hopefully beyond. Personally I think that is something that should be the norm in families. I can’t remember a time in my life that my sister ever adored me. To this day, in my opinion, her jealousy of me is hardwired in her brain that she despises me and my family. Unfortunately my children and their cousins are not in each others life because of such pettiness. It is my hope though that my sister realizes the harm she has done. I hope our family can be a family once again.
I’m not overly religious, but this is my prayer:
Lord help me not to be like the older brother when the prodigal son returned. Help me to be like the father with open arms. Open the eyes of my family to see where they are wrong. If I am wrong help me to realize where I can make amends. As my mom says, Amen!
This post is a work in progress as I work my thought out.
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