Having a baby is one of the most exciting events of our human lives. Whether to a mother or father, pregnancy is a special 9 plus months of preparation. Buying all the necessary tools you need to raise children, toys, clothes, receiving gifts from friends and even strangers, preparing your nursery are all part of the fun side of pregnancy. What is not fun is that pregnancy is like 9 months of menstruation.
Menstruation is that time of the month you want to hide behind cabinets and stay away from women when they want to scream at every little nuance that irritates them. When Jolene was younger she didn’t get irritated at things as much during her time of the month. She does now. We use to discuss how she wasn’t like other women when on her time of the month. As the years flew by, I began to notice the exact date she started her menstruation. No it wasn’t because of pads, or the smell, or the longer visits to the bathroom. Rather, because her mood was different. We are talking deep here, so deal with it.
Pregnancy for her is just like menstruation. She’s moody everyday and very easily irritated. I know this topic is taboo. It’s something that men are not suppose to talk about. However, I think it is important to discuss. I used to think that I had a temper, but as the progression through pregnancy goes on I’ve come to the realization that indeed my wife has a bigger temper than me. Chalk another one up for dad.
It’s important to discuss this because at times our wives will get to their breaking point. As husbands we need to be there for them and find ways to bring calm and deescalation. Since we have a daughter it’s important to deescalate situations around her. Often the only thing we can do is be a listening ear. Often, the only thing we can do is leave the room. Often the only thing we can do is say, “I love you.” Often the only thing we can do is ask if we can do anything.
For me as a husband I personally enjoy my wife’s bump. I enjoy watching the growth of my child inside her belly. I’m not concerned by her increased weight. How can I say no to bigger boobies! Often women who are pregnant will be concerned about gaining too much weight. As husbands we have to be that reality check. Of course they will gain weight. Don’t let yourself get trapped with the “is my butt too big.” Do however comfort them as much as possible. I know I need to do more of it.
Now, I’m sure not all mothers are the same way. Still we should be there as much as possible for our wives even the ones who appear to have it all together. Also, a big tip is for both of you to get as much sleep as possible before your baby is born. That will also help your wife be a little less grumpy. Soon, you will be getting a lot less.
All this talk got me writing off in a tangent. If you are thinking about having a child, make sure your marriage is in good health. Having a child is very stressful. You will get less sleep than you have ever before. You will have screaming children. You will be at your wits end. Hopefully as a husband and wife you can work as a team. I know way too many families that have marital problems that were only exacerbated by having children. Children should be a blessing and not a broken cog in a machine. So if you have the choice of planning for a child ask yourself if your marriage is ready for one.
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