Part of being a stay at home dad come with a lot of negative opinions from society. There are a lot of things not to say to a stay at home dad. Fathers can raise children just as well as mothers. Children can be raised with manners, raised with love, and raised to be proper adults in society.
While out with my daughter I’ve heard many things that makes me cringe. Most I believe are not ill intended, but I believe these comments are based on misconceptions of how things are suppose to be. I’m not one to claim the victim card. However, I know it is important to think about what we say. These are my favorite 5.
Are You Baby Sitting Today? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard this one. I’m still trying to find out where in society we have fallen short in assuming that a dad raising a child is baby sitting. Dad’s taking care of children is not baby sitting. It’s part of being a parent.
Are you unemployed? Once again, where did raising a child become a symbol of being unemployed? It has become a norm that both parents are required to work, while daycares are full of children being raised by strangers. My wife and I think that is bad for children. So no, I’m not unemployed. Besides, who knew many parents who stay home actually have a job.
What’s your wife’s account number? While shopping for Johanna I’ve been asked many times to provide my wife’s phone number to access our account number. Specifically Carter’s requests if my wife has an account with them. Usually I do the shopping, and even when my wife is around I still pay at the register. All the clothing accounts are in my name. Unfortunately almost all companies cater baby information to mothers with disregard to fathers. We have 4Moms, where is 4Dads?
How cute, you are spending time with your child. Wait, what? Are dads known for not spending time with their kids? If that’s the case, then dads have a lot of work to do. I’m sure there are a lot of bad dads out there. However, a generalized expression about fathers is not conducive for advocating proper parenting.
You must have a lot of free time? I think this one comes from the families that don’t raise their own children. Any parent, mothers or fathers know that raising children takes up most of your time. I’ve only started. I have another on the way, and one going to kindergarten soon. So no I don’t have a lot of free time. It’s not a 9 to 5 job.
I’ve heard many other things not to say to a stay at home dad. Eventually I’ll make a longer list. Hopefully society will change and recognize the difference fathers make in a child’s life. Evidence has shown that the lack of fathers in home leads to higher rates of incarceration. I feel it’s important for both mothers and fathers to be active in raising children. So lets work together to make a difference.
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